A Finals Week Hello

dead week is dead

so long dead week

you won't be missed

Dead week, if you are unfamiliar with the term, is the week during a semester right before finals week. Some schools cancel classes and use the whole week as a study time for finals. Other schools have class but put a “nothing can be due this week” rule... APU does not do either of these and while normally it doesn’t even phase me, this semester was killer. I cannot even count how many assignments and papers I had to do, not to mention the long-term projects and presentations that were due this week alone. This year, dead week happened to fall right after Thanksgiving weekend. Usually we have two weeks before finals after Thanksgiving, but this year we only had one. I ended up staying at school over Thanksgiving weekend to work on all the stuff that was due this week. I pulled 2 all-nighters in 4 days, putting me at two 40-hour days and not nearly enough sleep. On top of all this craziness, the School of Music’s annual Celebrate Christmas Concert is this weekend, so on top of the normal rehearsals for the choirs I am in (and in charge of), we had the mass dress rehearsal on Thursday night and performance Friday night (after one of my all-nighters). While they cannot help the fact that the “Celebrate Christmas Weekend” fell at the end of dead week this year, and while it was fun to perform, it still felt like an added torture after the lack of sleep and stressful week.

Thankfully, this week is over! I was able to (by God’s grace and the prayers and support of friends and family) complete all of my assignments and even a few extra-credit assignments. I slept for 14 hours last night and have taken it somewhat easy today. I have more assignments and papers to do for next week, finals to study for, and another Celebrate Christmas performance tomorrow... but at least the worst is over and the rest is rapidly coming to an end. So rest in peace dead week, until next semester.

the library, a place to study... right?

The library craziness...

the library has been a

great resource for me

this semester while

also becoming a place

to create a few very

random memories

This semester I have found the library to be a good place for me to study. While you might think, “Duh Jessica, thats what it is there for,” I have avoided it as much as possible my entire time at APU. I tend to drop by only to grab a book or two, or to print off copies of something, then leave and go study in my room or somewhere other than the library. Why? I’m not quite sure but I guess growing up with three younger siblings has something to do with it. There tended to be no volume control when I was trying to do homework, and now studying in a completely quiet environment is weird for me. I tend to do better when there is noise and interaction around me, most of the time being successful at tuning it out.

However, as I said before, this year has been different. While I still go between my typical study areas, the music building, my apartment, the library, and Starbucks... the library has been especially nice for me this semester. They have extended their hours to be open later, which is great for those late night papers... oh wait, that would be almost every night! I have found it harder than ever to do homework at my apartment this year, I think it is almost too homey, I just want to relax when I’m there.

What has been great about the library recently is the quiet yet busy feeling... there are always people typing or whispering, so the noise level is not too loud, but it is loud enough that I do not feel like I am going to go insane. When my friends and I study in there, we are quiet, but it is an anticipated quiet... always anticipating the next eruption of laughter that must be restrained. Sometimes I feel like a junior higher again, giggly but knowing that I have to be quiet so I won’t get in trouble. It is a good balance between study and entertainment... sometimes more of one than the other.

Tonight I started in the library after class... and as you can see above, my friend Faith and I got distracted by the Yoda toy that was randomly on one of the tables. After semi-working for an hour or so, we went to senior chapel and have now relocated to Starbucks until they close... drinking coffee to keep ourselves awake enough to finish the papers that may just be our academic death. Ok so maybe that is the hyperbole of the century but it does feel like I may never be done writing papers... And once Starbucks closes, it may be back to the library for me. Now that I have procrastinated even more by writing this blog... I retire to go write a paper about Tchaikovsky and how his lifestyle and background influenced the emotion of his music. Hopefully I will get a few hours of sleep tonight.

Opportunities...

You never know what doors will open and how you will find them...

Today I walked through a door that I did not even know was open. I was just doing my job, going to a meeting with my boss to discuss with people at University of Southern California the possibilities of starting a Laptop Program in their school of business. What I didn’t realize was that the meeting was with the dean of the School of Business for undergraduate students at USC. I also did not realize that the people from the leasing company that set up the meeting would be interested in me as a student and would end up trying to help me get connections there. Because of this meeting, I have a connection with a dean at USC, not a small feat to say the least. Out of respect for the nature of the meeting, I was not even considering doing anything with this connection, but other people took the reigns and threw me at a very possible open door. I do not know what will come of this, if anything, but I could have an opportunity for graduate school at USC, which is a an offer that does not come around every day. It just makes me laugh, how crazy life can be. You think you are on one path, and you may very well be on a certain path, but the yellow brick road is not always yellow and the people you meet along the way end up changing you and often your plans. I have no idea what is ahead, and while it can be terrifying, it is also very exciting. All I know is that right now I am open to anything, and am trying to work hard in order to be the best that I can be at the things that I am involved in now. So far, doing that is proving to open doors and connections in ways I had never dreamed. I guess a little humility and hard work pays off in the end, and being willing to start small is the key. We will see what happens, but it is exciting to know that God is in control and will often throw things in our path that keep us guessing if we are open to them. I have no idea what is next, and in some ways I have stopped trying to figure it out and am just waiting on the right open door to walk through, knocking on as many as I can when they appear, whether expectedly or unexpectedly.

Hardest Semester - How I'm Dealing

This semester has been by far the most challenging for me, in many different ways. I’m not quite sure how I’ve made it through to this point, other than by the grace of God. For those of you who do not know, I am in my final year of my undergraduate degree at Azusa Pacific University as a music major. My degree will be in Music Education with choral emphasis and Commercial Music with business emphasis. Basically - teaching choir and music business.

This semester, I am taking 18 units, comprised of mostly upper division music courses. I am the choir manager of two performing groups that I also sing in. I am the student manager of the Laptop program at APU within our IT department (IMT). I have to switch around my schedule quite often to do observations and recordings for my classes, as they require outside of class time (which means during other classes). I try to have somewhat of a social life, at least enough to help me stay sane. And on top of it all, I am trying to figure out what is next, looking for something to move ahead towards. I am not complaining about any of this, I was the one who chose all of those things. I love them all individually, and even collectively, there are benefits to being busy. The leadership experience is amazing in all of these areas. However, as I look back on the semester, I wonder how it has gotten to be the end of November already and wonder how I have managed to balance the impossible.

I have somehow balanced most everything and still come out of this crazy semester having great memories with friends and unexchangeable learning experiences. I honestly think it was the lack of time to stop and think about how overwhelmed I have really been, and the fact that I have done most of the overwhelming things in the presence of friends. I have come to realize that I am very people driven, that I am much more likely to get a task done if I am building relationships along the way. I am truly thankful for the new relationships that I have made this semester and am looking forward to developing these relationships further. I know that I will see the benefits of my hard work later, but nothing replaces the people that you get to experience the benefits with. As much as I hate it, High School Musical’s “We’re All In This Together” has been the playlist in my head all semester. Thanks to all of those who have helped me get through this semester with your support, whether it was through your encouragement, sarcasm, prayers, or cookie dough, I hope that I have somehow helped other people get through their difficult semester as much as they have helped me!

Oh to be intentional!

I always make these goals for myself, to become better at certain things or to break habits. I write down what I want or just think of them in my head, and then two weeks later wonder why I am such a slacker about everything. I am reading a book for work right now that talks about leadership and the way to be a leader, called The Servant by James C. Hunter. One of the things that I just read was the fact that "Intentions-Actions=Squat" but that "Intentions+Actions=Will." I have to be intentional of my actions. It is funny that this book points that out because I was just thinking the other day about how I need to be a more intentional person. It is a constant struggle to have the 'sit back, relax, and enjoy the show' mentality about life. I want to be all these things, I want to be a servant, a leader, a mature Christian, but I'm not putting actions with my intentions. Instead of putting all my goals down and saying that I want to do all these things and then never "getting around to them," my new goal is to be intentional. Everything I do should have a reason, and I should be consciously aware of that reason and the action that goes with it. I think if I focus on that, and seek God's will in that, I will be intentional about what matters and the useless, unloving, good-for-nothing parts of my life will begin to change.